Four pages,
one memory at a time.

Hello Bella, this is 1/6 paragraphs or pages you will get for 1/2 of your birthday gift. I plan to give u another letter, including a letter from every month that I will write.

Starting off, the new year was rough, but I’m glad I got to spend some time of it with you. Despite that day ending a little worse than expected, we both turned out ok, which I’m happy about. Like I told u during Christmas, I believe I could never repay u for how kind and good of a friend you have been to me, so I’m trying to at least make some kind of effort into showing you I still feel that way. I was bummed we never went to the movies to see the Avatar movie and still wish we could go and see it. Nonetheless, even without spending time with you, the time you take out of your day to reply or text me genuinely fills me with joy.

At times, I do feel like I’m just a guy who will be there whenever the main things in your life aren’t going the best, and I’m just there only when that stuff happens. But I mean, we’re just friends after all, so I don’t know why I should feel any differently from that. Regardless, despite how I feel, you’re still my best friend, and I promise you no matter what, I will be there and try my best to help you with anything and everything that I can.

Wrapping up January’s letter, one thing I want to mention is that I once forgot my pin after resetting it, and then I remembered like, oh, it’s your birthday, how could I forget that. But because I don’t use my card often, I hardly remember my pin anyways. I hope so far you like the letter and that January went better than December, and that coming up on Valentine’s Day, that you enjoy it with the one you care about and that you remember I’m always here for you no matter what terms we are on. I’ll see you at the end of February. Happy early birthday.

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Ok, so it’s nearing the end of February, and this is now 2/6 parts you will be getting. I have a few things u may or may not like, but I’m no snitch. But today, February 26th, Sergio send him a snap in the gc with him and Ash eating. They’re sitting apart, not together, and I don’t see anyone else, but I’m not gonna make it seem that way because she’s stuck on Mo anyways. Happy birthday again.

February has—I just had a dream about you. We were in like a real life game. We were running from a killer clown. We hid, and then as it got near, we had kissed 😭, and then we won the game. For some reason, you had a camera 😭. But yeah, anyways, I hope February has been good to you. Everything is going seamlessly better in your life. Some days go by where I think about last year and how everything happened, but I eventually think to myself the reality, and sometimes things don’t happen for a reason. Idk if that’s the case with us, but if it was, I’m still glad we got to be friends. U have helped me a lot over the coming months, and I am still forever grateful for you.

Anyways, happy birthday again. I hope everything from now up until your birthday just gets better for you. Enjoy your bday, u deserve to have an amazing one.

Mannnnnn times be stressfulll as fuckkk. I know u won’t get this now, but the comfort of me at least imagining u get this helps. Life been real heavy on me. Everything sucks rn. Times like this, I lwk wish I js never moved back to VA, to them simple days, but it is what it is. I live w the choices and stay solid on my end. Not gonna specify anything, and I know this is supposed to be a bday present, but I still consider u my bsf, so oh well.

U may not view me as u once did, and that’s fine. Ur beliefs and views might’ve changed, but mine hasn’t. Whether I’m still your friend or not, I’ll still do things like this. Anyways, mann, I regret so much shit moving back. There’s sm shit I wish I could change. I just don’t know how. I’m debating on sending u this when March hits as like 1/2 of ur present and then the other half when your bday comes along with your actual gift, which I do intend and plan on getting you. I’m not tryna rant abt my issues, but I hope whenever u get this that js know ur still a good person. U deserve the world, and I hope u get that and more. Happy birthday and good luck with everything.

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Well, where do I start. Firstly, it was so refreshing texting you again. I don’t want to admit it, but I missed you a lot, especially these past few days. Things have been so hard, and I just miss telling you things. Anyways, Autumn blocked you on all my accounts. Like, she constantly views my stuff, and then if she sees you or anyone she doesn’t like, she js removes or blocks them. It’s weird. Even people like my friend’s sister, who has 3 kids and is 20. She thinks you and Sergio have broken up and, for some reason, doesn’t like us texting because supposedly you and him unfollowed each other and removed the highlights, and that’s the reason he’s been going out a lot recently.

Besides that, I don’t hate you, it’s the opposite. I don’t want to admit it again, but ur on my mind so much. Anyways, I got my car finally, but it’s a manual instead of a BMW. Sucks, but a car is a car for now. Uhh, what else. I’m in like financial debt rn. I got sick, missed a week of work, and my check was $600 shorter than what it’s supposed to be.

I got offered two jobs, one to go to California and work in LA, the other was to work in Florida 😭. I declined them both because construction just isn’t what I want right now. Anywho, I dyed my hair again. My highlights are way better than before. Some parts remind me of your hair 😭. It was supposed to turn out platinum, but I didn’t want to start burning my hair off, so yeah. I knew I wanted to give you this and get you something for your birthday, and honestly, trying to remember, I wanted to do something similar for when u got the sign with my name. Although it was hard and I don’t know if you have something like it, but I got you a necklace with your name on it, and it has a butterfly. I remember picking out your belly piercing, and it was a butterfly, and then u got a sign with my name, so I decided to get you that. I didn’t know where to look, so it was hard, but I think I got a good one. Idk, to be honest.

I didn’t think you were gonna reply to ur mail because I thought you forgot and what not. But other than me, I hope you had fun at the concert I saw you went. I hope you have been enjoying life and everything’s been going great. You probably think I wasn’t going to really make this and take the time to do it, but I wanted to. And I’m not expecting you to like the letter parts, but I do hope you like the necklace. However, you will be getting ts on ur birthday 😭 or near your birthday. I knew I wanted to get you some type of jewelry though.

Most of this has really just been how I feel and not really dedicated towards you other than repeating things. But before I get to it, honestly, how I feel about you is surreal. You’re like my celebrity crush who I know I will never chance a chance with. That may sound weird now, but yeah. You’re also my best friend, and I know I’ve told you no matter what terms we are on, I will always be there for you when you need me 😭. You may be blocked on every social, but I still managed to find a way to get this to u. I had ur gmails saved 😭. That may sound creepy, but yes.

Uhh, I don’t know what’s been going on in your life as we don’t talk anymore ever. Idk who u hangout with or what not. I know I was told ur friends with Elina and Diana again, I think, or with Ash. Idk, that’s none of my business tho. I js lwk hope no one but u ever reads these. Feels like I’m typing in a diary 😭. But seriously, you have helped me grow up, helped me through some slight depressing stages in my life. Even though it may have never seemed like it, I do really wish we had gone to the movies that day. I feel like that memory would’ve been nice to have.

I have so many good memories, but honestly, the ones with you are definitely at the top of them all. Idk if I have said this already, but I know you’re planning on getting a job during the summer, and they won’t ever leave my head. And ngl, some of what I said didn’t save, sooo I might repeat a lot in this month. But again, I hope your job search goes good, u make good money, u spend time with ur friends, and just enjoy everything with them. I hope school is going good, ur staying out of trouble, and get off probation if you haven’t. I lwk forgot if u did. I js hope life goes amazing for you because ur too nice and kind to have bad things happen to you.

I don’t have much for this month because of how little we talk now, but I do hope we are close still and that doesn’t change no matter how long we go without talking because, again, I still consider you my best friend. I hope you enjoy this. If not, I don’t mind, but if anything, I do hope you love your necklace when you receive it.

That’s all. Bye Bella, happy birthday again, miss and love u.

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I know I repeated a lot of things in this, and I’m sorry for that. But you being there for me when I really needed you most means everything to me.

You were the only one who helped me through things I truly needed help with, and again, for that, I thank you so much. I owe you more than I could ever physically give you.

We may not be together or have had a chance to be something, but I’m okay with that as long as I have you as my friend.

Thank you again for everything that you have done, and I really hope you like the things I made for you. If not, that’s fine. Your friendship is something irreplaceable.

If I had to go through it all again, there’s no one else I would rather have by my side to help me through it than you.

Thank you for everything.

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